Truth be known, I am not feeling lighter, tigger or brighter. In fact, right now as I am sitting at my desk, taking a bite every few minutes of a medium size pizza, I am feeling a bloated tummy, heart palpitations, a little short of breath and eyes slightly blurred.
Yet I keep eating. In fact, I have had this habit or condition since I was very young.
I intellectually know I must just break the habit, but I haven't. So that is hinting to me that there is a payoff.
What am I gaining (other than the extra pounds of excess weight, bulge and heaviness) from making my body suffer?
Yes, there is some pleasure. There is mostly comfort... It is something that I can do well. I can keep eating and eating. In fact my oldest son demonstrates these obsessive compulsive tendencies to over eat. Actually, he is a magnified version of me.
He eats too fast so he does not chew. He probably doesn't even know he's full. He will get the food that is on his mind by looking at it intently then grabbing and stuffing into his mouth before you can block him!
Perhaps I am the same way but in a guarded and sneaky way. It's not to say he's not sneaky. But for me, I tend to chew, eat slower than him, feel guilty and sick - yet still not truly and completely change my ways.
I have written before that stress (fear and anxiety) causes me to just go in autopilot when it comes to calming my nervous system with food and often times non nourishing food.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Now what?
I am actually feeling better today :) and tomorrow I will start a Short Home Cleanse to clean myself back on track.
What have you struggled with for a long time? What are you going to do about it?
Thanks for reading. All the best to you!
Kim :)
