What a beautiful day today was. I so much appreciated sitting and playing outside with my kids. I loved feeling the unconditional loving warmth of our sun, the song of birds in the air, the awakening dirt my kids so enjoyed playing in. Spring is indeed here. Thank you.
As I was sitting outside, I noticed myself munching on peanuts; and as I opened up the first peanut, my kids started running to me for one... then they would run a circuit and then return for another piece. It was quite interesting how I noticed myself sitting there and eating the whole snack size bag of roasted salty peanuts even though I was not hungry.
It was recreational.
This week leading up the much anticipated Easter Weekend, I had allowed myself to eat some junk. And when I say junk, I mean: almost 4 shortbread cookies, a thumb size piece of dark Lindt chocolate and pieces of donuts from the Portuguese bakery.
It was really funny and how surprising when my husband offered me the Lindt and I accepted. The surprise was in my six year old daughter's reaction: "No, Mom! Don't do it! You want to lose weight!" She was so right... have I been making "losing weight" a big deal?
Even when she pointed these things out, that eating donuts are bad for us, she would still do it. We can't blame anyone else for our own behaviours. If we do, we are giving away our power.
In the last week, I have noticed that FEAR has been holding me back... not just from the weight loss, but in other aspects of my life. I am grateful to notice these patterns about myself and am willing to change.
This morning I weighed in at 159.5 - the same as last week.
The pattern I've noticed is that after Sunday, I tend to eat less, drink more water and start to take care of myself. By the time Thursday evening rolls around (when I have less help at home), I tend to just cave in to overeating, eating things that don't support me in my desires like eating bread or pizza. And when I am at home on the weekends, I tend to eat here and there throughout the day even with my intentions of eating only 2 or three meals a day.
So, really I ought to weigh myself on Thursday morning before I go into the stress eating mode by Thursday evening to see if there is a weight difference in the middle of the week rather than just on Sundays.
It's one thing to notice these patterns. Now I must understand them and change my ways.
To the best you!
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